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Alicante -Spain
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Property to Rent in Turkey. A selection of over 300 to look at |
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WHEN we put our house up for sale, I stressed emphatically
that my sons make their beds each morning. I left for work before they left for
school, and I wanted to be sure that the house looked presentable when the agent
showed it to prospective buyers. I was surprised and impressed that my
15-year-old son's bed was made perfectly each day. One night when I went into
his room, I discovered his secret he was fast asleep on the floor in his
sleeping bag. |
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Jack wanted to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. So they loaded up Jack's mini van and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night."I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this hugehouse all to myself, but I'm recently widowed," she explained. "I'm afraid the neighbours will talk if I let you stay in my house.""Don't worry," Jack said. "We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. Andif the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light." The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night.Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.But about nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend
He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked, "Bob, do you
remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski
holiday up North about 9 months ago?" "Yes, I do." said Bob "Did you,
er, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the
house and pay
her a visit?" "Well, um, yes," Bob said, a little embarrassed about being
found out. "I have to admit that I did." "And did you happen to use my
name instead of telling her your name?" Bob's face turned beet red and he
said, "Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy. I'm afraid I did." "Why do
you ask?"................................................................
"She
just died and left me everything."
(And you thought the ending would be
different, didn't you?)
A married couple were sitting in a fine restaurant when the wife looks over at a nearby table and sees a man in a drunken stupor.
The husband asks "I notice you've been watching that man for some time now. Do you know him?"
Yes" she replies, "He's my ex-husband, and has been drinking like that since I left him seven years ago."
That's remarkable" the husband replies, "I wouldn't think anybody could celebrate that long."
I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall
saying:
I'm not the type to start a conversation in the men's restroom but I don't know what got into me, so I answered, somewhat embarrassed, "Doin' just fine!"
And the other guy says: "So what are you up to?"
What kind of question is that? At that point, I'm thinking this is
too bizarre so I say:
"Uhhh, I'm like you, just
traveling!"
At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I
hear another question.
"Can I come
over?"
Ok, this question is just too weird for me but I figured I could just
be polite and end the conversation. I tell him,
"No........I'm a little busy right
now!!!"
Then I hear the guy say nervously...
"Listen, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions!!!"
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Dear Family and Friends . . . We haven't said anything to anybody about this until now because we wanted to wait until everything had been completed. We purchased a one bedroom home near Hanalei Bay in Hawaii as an investment property. Escrow finally closed this week and we thought we would let you know in case you're interested in renting. It's available for weekends or on a weekly basis. Initially I will be handling bookings until I find an agent in the area to manage the property. In order to offset the closing costs, weekends will cost approximately £200 (family and friends' rate) for three nights, and £500 for the week. But, we can only give out these rates during this summer. It's a one bedroom high rise unit that overlooks the ocean, nestled among lush greens, and has a lovely ocean view from every window! I am taking reservations as early as next week. Have a look and see the great luxury spot in Paradise! Simply Breathtaking! |
"Extreme Confidence"
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A middle aged man bought a brand new convertible Porsche. He took off down the road, pushed it up to 160 and was enjoying the wind blowing > through his (thinning) hair.
"This is great," he thought and accelerated to an even higher speed.
But when he eventually looked in his rear-view mirror there was a Police Car behind him, blue lights flashing. "I can get away from
him with no problem" thought the man and he floored it some more, and flew down the road at over 210 km/hr to escape being stopped.
Then he thought, What the hell am I doing? I'm too old for this kind of thing" and pulled over to the side of the road, and waited for
the Police car to catch up with him.
The Policeman pulled in behind the Porsche and walked up on the driver's side. "Sir, my Shift ends in five minutes and today is
Friday the 13th. "If you can give me a good reason that I've never heard before as to why you were speeding, I'll let you go."
The man looked back at the Policeman and said,
"Last week my wife ran off with a Policeman and I thought you were bringing her back."
The Policeman said, "Have a nice day."
Subject: Hillibillies
"Why don't you go ask the young'n
down the road? He must be smart 'cause he's a college
gradjyate." 
Off goes the second stick of
dynamite ... spreading poop all over the farm. 
Mother decided that 10-year-old Susie should get something 'practical'
for her birthday. "Suppose we open a savings account
for you?" mother
suggested. Susie was delighted. "It's your account, darling," mother said as
they arrived at the bank, "so you fill out the application."
Susie was
doing fine until she came to the space for 'Name of your former bank.' After
a slight hesitation, she put down 'Piggy'.
Don't skip this just because it looks weird. Believe it or not you can read it.
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I
was rdgnieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan
mnid!
Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer inwaht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling was ipmorant
Tel/Fax
(00) 34 96 679 0844 or 34-679-779-122Rural property for sale in Spain http://www.ruralspain.co.uk
Rental Villas and Apartments in Spain and Portugal http://www.spainvillas.co.uk
Local Web Site for Monover in Spanish http://www.monover.com
Spainish information site in English http://www.spain-info.co.uk
If it is B and B you are looking for try here lovely 200 year old property
http://www.daydreamvillas.co.uk/Las-Mariposas-BandB/Las-Mariposas.htm
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